Depths of Despair
by YJ-Obsessed
Summary: The title is kind of a pun on the episode of YJ: Invasion it's based on. So this is a horrible fan fiction of what would happen between Nightwing and Wally if Artemis really had died. I say horrible, because the idea makes me want to cry. Hopefully, you guys will enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright. The latest episode of Young Justice: Invasion was crazy amazing. The part where Artemis died was a little to intense for me, because I love her. __****I was especially curious as to how Nightwing faked out SB. He has super hearing, how did Dick pull off slinecing her hear beat? Anyway, I decided to write this as if Artemis really had died, knock on wood. I swear, if they kill her later, it's on!**

Nightwing was doing compressions as Miss M and Superboy landed next to him. *Come on, come _on_! You can do this, Artemis, you can _do_ this. Don't die on me, please.* He couldn't let her die. Aside, from Artemis being his best friend's girl, she was his good friend too. Besides, it was his fault that she was here. *I asked her to come...This is my fault.*

"Uh...I don't here her heart beat," Superboy said quietly.

"27, 28, 29, 30." Nightwing said. Then, he bent over to breath into Artemis. *Come on, Artemis. _Please_!* Finally, Nightwing had to accept it. "She's dead." he said softly as he fell onto the sand. He wove his fingers through his hair and grabbed hold, trying to rip it out. He felt so numb. It was like everything inside of him just shut down. He just wanted to feel _something_. Miss Martian looked at Superboy with concern as she linked him up with Nightwing. The boy had the same thing playing over and over in his head. (She's dead. I killed her. It's my fault. She's dead. I killed her...etc.) Megan knelt down by her friend.

"Nightwing? Nightwing, are you okay?" Megan asked kindly. She just wanted to make sure he didn't drown in despair. He just shook his head. Then, he started to just shake period. His body was trembling with the sobs he was trying to keep in. "Nightwing...Robin. It's okay. Shh. It's okay." M'gann said soothingly as she wrapped her arms around the boy she thought of as a little brother, letting out a few tears of her own.

"_No_, it isn't." Nightwing said, his voice cracking slightly. "If I hadn't asked her to come-"

"She would have come anyway. Do you _honestly_ think that Artemis would have stayed away? She quit for _Wally_, not because she wanted to." Superboy finished.

**_AT THE CAVE_**

Megan sat on the couch with Gar. Superboy wanted to go over and comfort her, but he knew that she was crying over the loss of her new boy friend L'gonn as well as the death of her friend and sister. Conner almost smiled at the memory of Artemis' first mission with them. _"I always wanted a sister," M'gann said. "On Earth. On Mars, I have twelve._

_Artemis smiled. "Uh, thanks."_ He almost smiled. But he was too caught up in the horror of what had happened. _Kaldur_, their friend, their leader killed Artemis. *What is the world coming to?* The clone wondered. Mal came up to him.

"Where's Nightwing? He should be here." The young mad said in irritation. Bee nodded.

"He went to tell Wally." Conner answered. The couple sighed. They did _not_ envy Nightwing right now.

**_AT THE WAREHOUSE_**

Nightwing leaned his back against the pillar as he looked at he only picture of Dick Grayson and Artemis Crock. He barely smiled as he remembered her first day at Gotham Academy. _"We'll laugh about this someday," he had told her. _Nightwing touched the hologram of Artemis' face. "We'll laugh about this someday," he whispered quietly. He couldn't believe that he had gotten his friend killed. Nightwing heard a noise behind him. He turned off his holo computer and walked around the pillar. "Wally?"

The red head walked around the corner and smiled slightly. "Hey man. So, I saw on the news that you couldn't stop save the shuttle. Too bad. I bet Artemis wasn't too happy. She suited up for nothing. Speaking of which...Dude, where is she?" Wally asked, his smile fading. Nightwing wanted to looked at the ground, but he owed his best friend this. He removed his mask and sighed.

"Wally...I am so so sorry."

Wally ran forward. "Where. Is she?" Wally asked, his voice dangerous.

Richard tried not to break eye contact with his best friend. "I...She...I tried to save her Wally, I did. I watched her back, and she really didn't need it. She was great. That is, until Kaldur came and...and...He pulled out his water bearers and stabbed her with a sword. I tired CPR, but she...Wally, you have to believe me, I never meant for anything to happen to-" Dick was cut off by a right hook. He fell over and sat on the ground. Not even bothering to get up. What was the point? He deserved what was coming to him. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, letting tears spill out. "I'm sorry Wally."

Wally crouched down in front of his younger friend, seeing that he was so defeated. *He didn't even _try_ and fight back.* Wally wasn't mad at Dick. Not really. He knew Artemis well enough to know that she would have gone to help them out eventually, had Nightwing extended the offer or not. Wally put his hand on Richard's shoulder. The boy looked up at him.

"Wally?"

The reached his hand up to mess up Richard's already messy hair. "Sorry, Dick. I'm not mad at you. I just couldn't hit the guy I am mad at. I didn't think that you would just take it."

Dick looked down. "I deserved it. I left her alone. I turned my back and-"

"And you couldn't have stopped Kaldur. He isn't our friend anymore. He would have just taken you out too. Don't beat yourself up." Wally said, trying to comfort his friend.

"Why aren't you? I thought I was going to get the crap beat out of me."

Wally sighed and sat down next to his best friend. *How do you explain this to a kid?* Sure, Wally was only three years older, but between 18 and 21, things change a lot. "Look...I am a little mad that you offered the mission to Artemis. I mean, I figured that she was already thinking about volunteering, but you asking her for help cinched it. Artemis had been dying to get back out there...me? I just wanted a quiet life, where I didn't have to worry about whether I would come home to the girl I loved, or if she would come home to me. Mainly...I just sorry that I couldn't give her the life she wanted. The last time I saw her, we kind of had a fight about whether or not she should go. I could have been more supportive. Heck, I could have joined you guys. But...I'm out of practice. I'm slow, Dick. I can't go as fast anymore. When you get older...you see things differently...You want different things."

Dick looked over at Wally. "What did you want, Wally?"

Wally reached into his pocket with tears in his eyes and pulled out a simple gold band with an emerald. "This. I wanted this."

Dick ran a hand through his hair again. "Oh man, Wally. I...I didn't know..."

Wally laughed a little. "Neither did she. I was going to give it to her when I came here...We had talked about it...I had asked enough questions to know that she didn't want some run of the mill giant diamond that made it so she could barely lift her hand. She always loved green, so..."

"She would have loved, it KF. Definitely."

The boys sat in silence for a while just staring at what could have been. Wally put the ring back in his pocket and slung his arm around Dick's shoulders. "She was really proud of you, you know that?"

"Proud of me? For what?" Richard asked in confusion.

"For breaking out. For ditching Batman's shadow like Roy, without ditching Batman and the League and your friends. She was proud that you didn't just quit like we did. Although, she would have kept going forever. She was great at it."

Richard nudged his friend. "So were you, Wall-man. Fastest kid alive."

"But I wasn't a kid anymore. I didn't want to cut off Uncle Barry, but...I just didn't want this anymore. And this is why." Wally finished, gesturing between himself and his friend. "This. Losing a friend. A girl friend. Anyone that we care about."

"But Wally...that can happen doing anything. Just by walking outside the front door. Someone could have a drive by shooting. It doesn't mean that you should hide under your bed. She would want you to keep going. Come one, KF. Come back. For her. Don't give up because you're afraid of what _might_ happen. Artemis was afraid to love you, but she did. Give her the same thing. Love her memory, even though you're afraid."

Wally was silent for a minute, which for a speedster is like an hour. "When did you become the big brother figure in this relationship?"

"When you became the one that needed someone to lean on. You've been there for me with everything. Even the thing's I wish you had been far far away for. It's my turn...So, what do you say? You ready to get back into the spandex?"

"Bring it on." Wally said.

_**So, this has little bit of it all. Love. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Friendship. Family. It's all good. So, like it, love it, hate? Reviews please, no matter what they say!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Someone pointed out to me that Dick felt more than Wally did. This is true. I figure that Wally lives by one philosophy. And that is deny, deny, deny. __****Deny that he's in pain. Deny that he's hurting (emotionally). Deny that he is scared. Well, Wallycan only fool himself for so long. This story is not a two-shot, so that we get the full depth of Wally's pain. Rereading the story, I think that I might have made Wally a little too okay. So, he is in for a full on** **meltdown**. 

Wally unlocked the door and walked in. He heard the TV on and almost asked, "Whatcha watchin', babe?" then, he remembered that he had left the TV on in his haste to get to Artemis...who was gone. Wally took in a deep breathe and walked through the empty apartment. He turned off the TV and went into his room, flopping down on the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the words that kept ringing in his head. She's dead. But, Wally couldn't deny it. The bed was empty. Cold. There was no sound of Artemis softly breathing as she slept. Wally couldn't throw his arm around her and kiss her cheek.

Wally sat up and went into the bathroom, stripping down and getting into the shower. He was tense. He hoped that taking a hot shower would help him to relax. *She's not gone...She can't be. Watch, I'll get out of the shower, and Artemis will come running in saying that she was sorry for worrying me, and it was all some twisted misunderstanding.* Sure, it was easy enough to tell himself that...but getting himself to believe it? Wally wasn't as good at fooling himself as he used to be. He was and adult now. He didn't have the ability to just wish everything away and pretend that everything was fine anymore. So, when he got out of the shower and threw on some clothes, Wally just stood staring at the empty bed. The bed that he knew would be empty when he woke up. And when he went to bed tomorrow night. The the next morning.

The speedster shook his head. He just couldn't deal with this...She couldn't be gone. Not after all that they had been through. Not after they had finally decided that there would never be anyone that could come between them. He was going to propose tonight. Now, Wally would never know if he would screw up the words he had so carefully rehearsed. He wouldn't ever know if Artemis would toy with him before saying the inevitable, "Yes." All he would know is the void that she left behind. Wally lay down on the bed and put his face in her pillow. It smelled like her shampoo. Vanilla and raspberries. Wally flashed back to when Artemis had died in the training exercise. He remembered Black Canary telling him he was in denial. He remembered saying that he was okay with that. *There's no denying this, Wall-man...She's gone. No matter how many times you wake up, it's still going to be reality.* Wally's voice of reason told him...funny enough, it sounded like Roy's voice. Probably from all those years of the speedster running to the archer for help.

Finally...reality caught up with the fastest boy alive. He was too tired to run anymore. He just lay down and died as the emotions rolled over him. Anger. Fear. Pain. Loss. Anger, at not being there for her. At Aqualad for going AWOL and killing the only girl the he ever loved. Fear of being alone. Forever. Of never having Artemis there to tell him he needed to stop running and just deal with the problem. Pain that clenched his heart and made him want to die, because he felt like his other half had been ripped off. Now, he was only half a man. Loss. That doesn't really need explaining, does it? He lost his girl friend. His best friend, besides Nightwing. The one he went to when he had a crappy day. The one that would just wrap her arms around him until he stopped being angry. He was alone. Unavoidably, completely, alone.

Wally curled in a ball and let the pain hit him. He let himself feel all the hurt and anguish. He had kept it together for Richard back at the warehouse. He had to. The kid was already beating himself up over Artemis' death enough as it was. He didn't need to see Wally this way. Broken. This was the best thing. To go through it alone. Wally cried. He clutched Artemis' pillow to his chest and let the tears roll down his cheeks. "She's gone...She's gone." Wally whispered. He repeated this depressing mantra again and again. He didn't want to wake up tomorrow morning and hope she would be up and about, only to have his heart break again. He rolled over onto his back and rubbed his face. He groaned. Rolling over to his other side, Wally looked at the picture of Artemis on his nightstand. "What do I do without you here? Eh, Spitfire?" Wally asked quietly. He hadn't ever told anyone about his encounter with Kent Nelson. That is until he accidentally let the word spitfire slip out when he was talking to Artemis.

"What did you call me?" She had demanded.

Wally rubbed his neck. "Spitfire."

"Why?" Artemis asked. So, Wally told her the real story of what happened when he was inside of the helmet of Fate.

"Nelson told me to find my own Spitfire. One who wouldn't let me get away with nothing...You definitely don't let me get away with nothing."

"Wally," Artemis said quietly before gently kissing his lips. He pulled back.

"I usually leave here with cuts and bruises." Wally added. He just _had_ to go and kill the moment.

Artemis slapped his arm and punched his chest. "Baywatch, you idiot! We were having a moment!"

"Ow, ow! See what I mean? I leave here with bruises." Wally laughed and ran away from his girl friend's wrath. She had laughed to. Wally smiled at the picture as he reminisced.

"I most definitely didn't get away with nothing...But you did." Wally said, as more tears streamed down his face. He had always thought that he wasn't good enough for Artemis. She was graceful, smart and what was he? A klutzy speedster. Sure, technically Wally was a genius, but Artemis? She had more than just book smarts. She could read people, and she had these amazing gut instincts. What she had ever seen in him, Wally would never know now. But whatever it was, it got him the most incredible girl in the world...for however short of a time that it had been.

Wally didn't talk to anyone for a few days. He didn't answer his phone, he wouldn't go to the door. He just sat in his apartment and wallowed. For the first time, he wasn't trying to deny his pain. He didn't run. Everyone wondered how he was doing. They figured he was just doing his own thing, being Wally. No one, save Dick, Barry and Bruce and a few others, knew how much Wally felt. Everyone always assumed he had the power to also heal emotionally at a super-human speed, just like he could physically. That wasn't the case. Wally would let his "wounds" fester for weeks, sometimes months, before dealing with the problem. At which point, it was even worse because of the delayed attention. Dick couldn't take it anymore. He had to know how Wally was doing, but he knew that he wasn't the best person to talk to his best friend at the moment. So, he called Barry.

"Hey, kid. What's up?" The scarlet speedster asked.

"Barry. He's not handling it. I don't think he's in denial, but he isn't okay. You need to go talk to him." That was all Richard said. That was all Barry needed to hear. He ran over to Palo Alto-literally ran-and knocked on his nephew's door. After a few seconds-which was like a half hour for Barry-he just walked right through the door.

"Wally? Are you okay, Kid?" Barry asked, using his old nick name for Wally. Wally was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands staring at the floor. "Wally?" Barry called uncertainly. He didn't know if his nephew was in such a depressed state that he couldn't hear him. Wally turned his head slightly in Barry's direction.

"Hey...Uncle Barry. How ya doin'?" Wally said in a somewhat monotone voice. Barry was shocked. This wasn't his nephew. His nephew was like a Goonie. He never said die. He never gave up hope...*Until his reason for hope was killed by an ex team mate* Barry added to himself. He zipped over to the couch.

"I think the real question is how are _you_ doing?"

Wally lifted his head, resting his elbows on his knees as he faced his uncle. "Oh, you know..." Wally hung his head back down as the tears started to roll down his face. "I'm not." he whispered. "I feel like a part of me died with her." Barry nodded as he silently wrapped his arms around Wally. *Twenty one or not. You are _never_ too old to be hugged by your uncle.* Barry decided. _Especially_ when your girl friend dies. Wally turned his head into his uncle's shoulder and grabbed his arms, clinging to something real, instead of the memories that had haunted him the past few days. He thought of all the times that his uncle had been there for him. After a hard mission. After a fight with his parents. When he decided that he wanted to ask Artemis to marry him, Barry had helped him in getting the right ring. Now, Barry was there for him in his darkest hour. His parents had long ago cut off contact with him for the most part. They didn't approve of Artemis already, but they were always nice enough to her. When they had announced that they were getting an apartment together, Mr. and Mrs. West were outraged. They didn't even attempt to hide their disgust for her then. Wally let out a sob.

"Shh. I know Wally. I know. It's hard to lose a team mate, but it's even harder when they are something more."

"I should have been there. I should have gone with her." Wally muttered.

Barry shook his head. "You didn't want this life anymore, Kid. It's okay."

"If I had been there, I could have gotten her out of the way. I could have taken out Kaldur. I could have done _something_!" Wally cried. Barry just held him tighter.

"You can't think like that, Wally. You can't keep wondering about what you could have done. Artemis made her choice. You know that it's what she wanted. To go fighting." Barry said, trying to help his normally sunny-dispostioned nephew find the silver lining.

"She didn't want to go...There was so much that she never got to do. She wanted kids. Artemis wanted a family. She wanted a chance to prove to herself that she would be a better parent...that _we_ would be better parents. She was going to be the first in her family to make it all the way through school. She wanted so much for her life." Wally retorted painfully as he recalled his beautiful girl friend's face lit up as she talked about her dreams and hopes for her future...for _their_ future. He winced as he thought of her.

"I know she wanted a family, Wally. I know that. I remember her talking to Iris about it...As if Iris and I know much more than you. We just barely got pregnant!" Barry chuckled slightly. So did Wally as he remembered Bart revealing the news to Barry and Iris. That crazy kid. Barry continued. "So, Wally. Here's what you have to do. You have to go and make her dreams a reality. You have to make it through college. Someday, you are going to find some other girl that you think is special and you are going to have a family. Guaranteed, you will be better than your dad. You have to keep going with your life, for Artemis. Because she can't. You have to live like there's no tomorrow, and do everything that you dream of. She wouldn't want this for you, Wally. She wouldn't want you to hide from your friends and family."

Wally pulled away from Barry and looked at his uncle. "What if I'm not strong enough to do all that. What if I can't outrun the pain this time, Uncle B?"

"Don't try to. All you need to do is keep up with it."

"You really think that Artemis would want me to marry another girl?"

Barry smirked. "Your little spitfire? She's want you to go and take the girls by storm." Barry smiled at Wally's surprised face. He didn't think that anyone knew he called Artemis that. "So long as you wait a respectable time. Other wise her ghost will come back and shoot you with phantom arrows." Barry added with a smile.

Wally leaned back and groaned. "Why do you have to make a serious moment like this a joke?" But Wally couldn't help but to start laughing. And that was all the reassurance Barry needed. So long as Wally could still laugh, he could keep going. Sure, it was going to be hard. Death always is. But now Wally could start to move on. Little by little.

**_I hope that this was better than just the one-shot. Yes, it ends lightly, but in the end, speedsters will be speedsters. They have to keep moving. If Wally was forever wallowing in despair, he would cease to be Wally._**


End file.
